I have been conducting Annual Memorial Services, usually on Remembrance Sunday evenings, for about ten years. These have proved very popular with people, some of whom have come to Alpha Courses as a result. I have adapted the following from other sources and offer them to you to use as you see fit. This includes: our liturgy; a copy of the contents of the letter I send to bereaved folk every year; and two sermons, including this year's. I always keep the memorial roll to ensure that those who attended one year get invited to the next. I normally invite other folk to two services after they have been bereaved.

THE LITURGY

Welcome to St. Martin's Church for this Memorial Service. During this service names of loved ones will be read out as an act of commemoration. If you did not give their name as you came in, please feel free to return to the entrance before the service and give the name there. We pray that you will know God's peace as we worship Him, and remember our loved ones.

INTRODUCTION AND WELCOME

HYMN

We meet in the name of Jesus Christ, who died and was raised to the glory of God the Father. Grace and mercy be with you.
We do not look to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen;  for the things that are seen are temporary but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Today we come together to remember before God our loved ones, to give thanks for their lives, to renew our trust and confidence in God, and to seek his comfort and blessing.
As we come before God, let us be assured of His love: love so great that He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ, so we may be put right with God. Therefore, let us ask God to forgive us and cleanse us from our wrongdoing.

Most merciful God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, we confess that we have sinned in thought, word and deed. We have not loved you with our whole heart. We have not loved our neighbours as ourselves. In your mercy forgive what we have been, help us to amend what we are, and direct what we shall be; that we may act justly,  love mercy,  and walk humbly with you, our God.  Amen.

May the God of love  bring us back to himself, forgive us our sins, and assure us of his eternal love in Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

AN ACT OF COMMEMORATION

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are His everlasting arms.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His compassion never fails: every morning they are renewed. Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. Amen.

We remember before God...
(the names of loved ones are read out)

Almighty God, as you bring us face to face with our mortality we thank you for making each one of us in your own image and giving us gifts in body, mind and spirit. We thank you now as we honour the memory of these loved ones whom you gave to us and have taken away. We pray that you will comfort us and show us the path of life, and the fullness of joy in your presence through all eternity.  Amen.

Let us pray with confidence as our Saviour has taught us
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

Further prayers follow...

NOTICES

HYMN

BIBLE READING

ADDRESS

HYMN

THE BLESSING
May Christ, who out of death brings life, new hope, and a future, fill you with His new life. And the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, be with you, and those you love, now and forever. Amen.

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You are warmly invited to go to the Church Hall for refreshments and a chat after the service.

THE LETTER

Dear

ANNUAL MEMORIAL SERVICE  : 6 p.m. SUNDAY 11th NOVEMBER
I am writing to invite you, your family, and friends to the annual Memorial Service on Remembrance Sunday, 11th November, at 6 p.m. This service gives the opportunity to worship and draw close to God, and to remember and give thanks for loved ones. This will be particularly appropriate this year since Armistice Day is a Sunday and it will be exactly two months since the terrorist attacks in the United States.
The death of a loved one can be very painful and it can take years to readjust and work through grief. Events such as those of the eleventh of September can reawaken emotions. Over the years many people have found the Memorial Service to be very helpful. The service starts at 6 p.m. but, if you would like to arrive a little earlier you can enter your loved one's name on the Memorial Roll which will be read out during the service which will last for about forty minutes. This will be followed by tea and coffee in the Church Hall and you are warmly invited to stay for this.
With every good wish and my prayers,

Rev'd Jim Pye, Rector.

THE SERMONS

Memorial Service Sermon 10/11/02

Ecclesiastes 31 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil - this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Imagine that you had a bank that credited your account each morning with £86,400. You could carry over no balance from day to day, so every night, whatever part of the amount you didn't spend during the day would be cancelled.
What would you do? Draw out every penny every day, of course, and use it to your advantage!
Well, you have such a bank, and its name is time! Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it rules off as lost whatever of this you failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balances, it allows no overdrafts. Each day it opens a new account with you. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow.
This situation was brought home to me recently when the long-term boyfriend of an old friend of mine was suddenly killed in a car accident. The man who was killed was about my age, and his girlfriend of many years is devastated.
It is not until many people are bereaved that they start to examine what is important in life. Bereavement not only challenges us with our own mortality, but also how we have used and are using our time. The Bible reading, which was made famous by the record 'Turn, Turn, Turn' by the Byrds, reminds us that there are times to do certain things. But for many people, like my friend's boyfriend, their time was shorter than they might have expected.
Some people never die, like James Bond. He has been going for years played by different actors. The theme to the latest movie, 'Die another day', which is sung by Madonna, features the line  'I guess I'll die another day'.  That type of confidence, even complacency is for the movies. It is not real life. We need to prepare not only for the things of this life, but also, and even more so, for the life to come.
Jesus said, `Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' And ... `Love your neighbour as yourself.'
Why should we love God?
Because he loved us first. We know of his love through the gift of life to ourselves and our loved ones. Through the gifts of food, water, homes and possessions. Ultimately, we can know the love of God through Jesus, who loved you and me so much that he died in our place.
In the recent high winds, a 12 year old boy, Christopher Vince, died pushing his 16 year old brother Ben out of the way of a falling tree. Christopher shouted a warning to his brother then dashed forward to push him out of the danger zone, but was crushed by the tree himself. Ben said, 'Christopher saved my life. It could have been me if it wasn't for him'.
Jesus laid down his life for you and me on the cross. We all deserve to be separated from God because we fail to love him with our whole being all of the time and we fail to love other people as ourselves. This separation is what the Bible calls death. Not physical death but spiritual death, a spoiling of our relationship with God. But Jesus, who never did any wrong, received the punishment that we all deserve on the cross.
I, and millions of Christians throughout history can say, 'Jesus saved my life. It could have been me if it wasn't for him'.
Jesus offers that deliverance to people so they can live life in a right relationship with God from now into eternity. When believers go to be with God they will receive new, perfect resurrection bodies and no longer be subject to suffering, death and mourning.
We should also love God because that is the reason why we were created. Our reading included the words, God has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
This has been described as the 'God shaped hole' that everyone has inside them. We were created to know and love God.
Multimillionaire John D. Rockefeller was asked once how much money it took to make a person happy.  His answer was, "JUST A LITTLE MORE."
People try to fill the God shaped hole with wealth, possessions, power, popularity, drugs, drink, sex, but these things do not bring long term satisfaction and joy.
How can we love God and people?
This takes a lifetime to learn, and even then we will sometimes get it wrong. However, this does not mean that we should not learn and try.
My son, Joshua, is keen on football. He goes on coaching courses in the school holidays, football practice after school on Wednesdays, plays football with me and for the school team. I recently found the light on in his room after bedtime and discovered him reading a coaching manual!
The best way to find out more about God and his perfect will for our life is to come to church and to read his coaching manual, the Bible. Christianity is a team game, not an individual intellectual belief in the existence of a supreme being that leaves your life unaffected. I would ask those of you who want to do business with God to consider regularly attending a church, and I would commend this one to you! I am sure you would receive a warm welcome at any of our services, and would find them lively, reverent and relevant to life. Christians need one another to learn together, worship together, help one another and help others. The goal of this is to build up our relationship with God as individuals and God's people so that the world may be transformed.
That transformation has got to start with each one of us. We can look at the world around us and criticise what we see, but we can do something by opening ourselves up to the transforming power of God. The author and Christian G.K.Chesterton once wrote to a newspaper on this subject. He wrote, 'Dear Sirs, You ask what is the matter with the world? I am, yours sincerely, G.K.Chesterton
An elderly lady walked slowly into a life insurance office in Minneapolis during the worst part of the Great Depression.  She wanted to know if she could stop paying the premiums on her husband's life insurance policy.  "He's been dead sometime now," she said, "and I don't believe I can afford making the payments any more." The clerk behind the desk looked up her husband's policy and discovered it was worth several hundred thousand dollars.  This poor lady was wealthy, but she had no idea.  No one had ever explained to her how life insurance works.
Perhaps no one has ever explained to you what riches await those who are disciples of Jesus Christ. I implore you, find out, before it is too late.

John Bacon, once a famous sculptor, left this inscription on his tomb in Westminster Abbey: "What I was as an artist seemed of some importance to me while I lived; but what I was as a believer in Jesus Christ is the only thing of importance to me now."
When we think of what God has done for us and the response he wants us to make, do we need to reassess our priorities in the light of eternity?

Gen. William Nelson, a Union general in the American Civil War, was involved with the battles in Kentucky when a brawl ended up in his being shot, mortally, in the chest.  He had faced many battles, but the fatal blow came while he was relaxing with his men.  As such, he was caught totally unprepared.  As men ran up the stairs to help him, the general had just one phrase, "Send for a clergyman; I wish to be baptized."
He never had time as an adolescent or young man.  He never had time as a private or after he became a general.  And his wound did not stop or slow down the war.  Everything around him was left virtually unchanged -- except for the general's priorities.  With only minutes left before he entered eternity, the one thing he cared about was preparing for eternity.  He wanted to be baptized.  Thirty minutes later he was dead. What would be our standing before God if he was to take us this night?

11/11/01 6 p.m. Memorial Sermon : Luke 12:13-21

What would you do if you had only a few hours to live ? This was a question that faced hundreds of people on three aeroplanes in America on September 11th. Many of them with mobile phones tried to warn others of the impending danger. Many others rang parents, partners and children to tell them now much they loved them. The news was full of tearful conversations between loved ones, or messages on an answerphone.
In a world full of busyness and material goods this highlights the supreme importance of relationships. In today's Bible reading we had a man who put possessions before his relationship with his brother and with his God. It shows that little has changed in two thousand years. Today relationships are replaced by possessions, we have neighbours not knowing one another, disposable relationships with little or no commitment, relationships that are sacrificed for work, and relationships that are strained because of the lack of work and money.
Virtually everyone is here tonight because you have had a relationship ended by the death of a loved one. Bereaved people often feel that they didn't make the most of their relationship with their loved one, or that they wished they had said certain things to them while they were still alive.
A survey of elderly people asked them if they had any regrets. The most common regret was not taking more risks, making more of their lives. Others included not being more assertive, not having more self-discipline and not spending quality time with family. Money was considered insignificant by the vast majority.
In the movie "Braveheart" William Wallace, played by Mel Gibson said, "Every man dies. Not every man really lives."
Death is something that we do not face up to easily, even though it will happen to all of us. The events of September 11th remind us of this. For thousands of people it started as a normal day at the office, or travelling on a flight, something that is an everyday occurrence in the United States.
Closer to home, a bomb recently failed to detonate near Birmingham's New Street Station, and I guess many of us here have been there on occasions.
Approximately 10 people each day die as the result of a road traffic accident. Not just drivers but also passengers and pedestrians.
Lord Palmerston, 1784-1865, British Politician, Prime Minister said, "Die, my dear doctor! That's the last thing I shall do!" He was right, in a sense, but his quip illustrates that few people are prepared to die.
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." We have to face up to our living too.
In the light of today's Bible reading I would like to invite people to review two aspects of their life. Our relationship with our loved ones, and our relationship with God.
To help us consider our relationships with loved ones I would like us to listen to a song called "Tomorrow never comes" by Garth Brooks...
Can I suggest that we go from here tonight considering how we might act differently towards our loved ones if we knew that tomorrow would never come. Not only telling them that we love them but spending quality time with them, and sharing our thoughts with them.
Our relationship with God. The man in today's parable probably believed in the existence of God, but it made little or no difference to his life. He placed his security in possessions, things that would not last, rather than in his relationship with God.
God loves everyone, including you and me. He knows each one of us better than we know ourself. Yet he still loves us unconditionally. He wants us to have a good relationship with Him. he will never let us down. If we ask him he will always be with us. Jesus said, John 6:37 "whoever comes to me I will never drive away". Repeat.
We only have to some to Jesus, as we are, and he will accept us. In fact, Jesus is God's way, God's only way, of saying " I love you and I accept you".
The reason for this is that we have all put ourselves and other things before our relationship with God. This cuts the relationship off, the Bible calls this death.
God wanted to mend this relationship so he sent Jesus to earth. Jesus lived life as God wanted him to, always putting God and other people before himself. But, on the cross, Jesus was cut off from God because he willingly took the punishment for the failure of everybody to follow God's ways.
We know that God accepted Jesus self-sacrifice because, on the third day, Jesus was raised from death to a new life. Because Jesus is alive today we can have a relationship with him and with God his Father. We can also be changed through our relationship with Jesus to become more like the people God wants us to be.
A young woman was attending her wedding rehearsal and, at first couldn't remember how the service started. The Vicar patiently explained that she was to walk down the
aisle to the altar with her father to join the groom and they would then sing the first hymn. Finally, she declared, "I've got it !"
On the day of her wedding as she was walking into the church she was heard saying, "Aisle, altar, hymn; Aisle, altar, hymn; Aisle, altar, hymn;...!
Relationships change people, hopefully for the best ! Our relationship with God will change us for the better, if we let him.
One example of this is found In Tony Bolt, one of the ten people filmed on the ITV documentary 'Alpha - will it change their lives ? '
Tony is a 34 year old painter and decorator who was on the verge of parting from his live-in girlfriend Ronnie. They have a four year old son called Joshua. Tony drank heavily, took drugs, and was working long hours to pay off debts and avoid bankruptcy. He started coming to the 'Alpha Course', a ten week course that explores the basics of the Christian faith. He started to read a modern version of Mark's gospel and one of the leaders asked him if he wanted to be prayed for. He agreed. Describing what happened he said, " As he prayed all I can say is that I felt so safe as if God was saying, 'I've got you and I'll never let you go.. I said sorry to God for all the drugs and the relationships I've had, living with Ronnie and not getting on - personal stuff... I can honestly say that it was that day that I became a Christian and Jesus is in my life now "
Since then Tony and Ronnie's relationship has improved so much that she has done an Alpha Course and become a Christian, and they have married.
Jesus said that he had come that those who follow him may have an abundant life. A life lived in a right relationship with God. A life that enables people to be forgiven and to be better.
We are currently running an Alpha Course and will be running one in the New Year for anyone who wants to find out more about the Christian faith. If you would like to find out more about this please see me before you leave tonight. If, however, you want to enter into a right relationship with God tonight you can do so by saying a prayer, in the silence of your heart, to God.
I will say each line and then leave a space for you to say the line to God in your head. He will hear you and come into your life to assure you of His presence with you, and to help you to live your life for him.

Lord Jesus Christ,
I know I have lived life my own way and not your way.
I am sorry and turn from everything that I know to be wrong.
You died for me on the cross.
Gratefully I give my life back to you.
I ask you to come into my life
to cleanse me
to control me
and to be with me.
And I will serve you all the days of my life.
Amen.

If you have prayed that prayer tonight please let me know so that I can give you something that will help you in your relationship with God and with people.